Time is truly the Great Physician in healing past experiences in life. It does not take away the memory but it does dull the pain or enhance the sweetness of a remembrance. I am in a recovery program to try and get my inner and spiritual life on track. One of the greatest issues I had to cope with and ‘confront’ was that the effort and hope that I placed in people did not bear the fruit I hoped it would. I did not place too high fact very little..but the result always remained the same….that ghastly feeling of disappointment in the knowledge that I am never going to make the situation work. It will certainly go on and peace will be maintained but communication will always be cautious and truths will remain veiled. I finally am able to accept this reality.  I distance myself. In my recovery program I have to constantly assess my own actions. I know I did not expect too much but with certain people I always have to extend the hand of interest. Its so sad that one does not have the social skills in recognising a two way reality in communication. Let it be. I will accept that my thinking processes have to change. What stresses me is that I am so physically ill after interaction with certain individuals….this I have to correct. How I appreciate the people on the peripheral of my life….their smiles and genuine interest in how I am. The sympathy with the fact that I carelessly dropped my android tablet and their offer of a solution which we know within ourselves will not work…but the words flowed like a balm soothing a hurting heart. I was totally careless and did not think for a moment…that moment cost me quite a lot….but it worked out and a new android entered my life.
I continue to miss attending Mass. I try to listen to Mass on Radio Veritas which is the catholic radio service in this country but I seem to run late each day with the things that I have to do in the home.
The season is changing and a very difficult and excessive summer is almost dead…and the autumn is moving in with all it gentleness. For a few months we will be free..hopefully..of the endless weather tantrums and storms…and the afternoon thunder showers at precisely at 4.30pm if not at 2pm.