image

Time is truly the Great Physician in healing past experiences in life. It does not take away the memory but it does dull the pain or enhance the sweetness of a remembrance. I am in a recovery program to try and get my inner and spiritual life on track. One of the greatest issues I had to cope with and ‘confront’ was that the effort and hope that I placed in people did not bear the fruit I hoped it would. I did not place too high expectations..in fact very little..but the result always remained the same….that ghastly feeling of disappointment in the knowledge that I am never going to make the situation work. It will certainly go on and peace will be maintained but communication will always be cautious and truths will remain veiled. I finally am able to accept this reality.  I distance myself. In my recovery program I have to constantly assess my own actions. I know I did not expect too much but with certain people I always have to extend the hand of interest. Its so sad that one does not have the social skills in recognising a two way reality in communication. Let it be. I will accept that my thinking processes have to change. What stresses me is that I am so physically ill after interaction with certain individuals….this I have to correct. How I appreciate the people on the peripheral of my life….their smiles and genuine interest in how I am. The sympathy with the fact that I carelessly dropped my android tablet and their offer of a solution which we know within ourselves will not work…but the words flowed like a balm soothing a hurting heart. I was totally careless and did not think for a moment…that moment cost me quite a lot….but it worked out and a new android entered my life.
I continue to miss attending Mass. I try to listen to Mass on Radio Veritas which is the catholic radio service in this country but I seem to run late each day with the things that I have to do in the home.
The season is changing and a very difficult and excessive summer is almost dead…and the autumn is moving in with all it gentleness. For a few months we will be free..hopefully..of the endless weather tantrums and storms…and the afternoon thunder showers at precisely at 4.30pm if not at 2pm.

Advertisements