We are defined by the things that we use to fill the spaces in our lives. Books, music, media visuals, those special things we do to fill the less pressing thoughts. This is a fast paced age and each day Life evolves and redefines the more simpler things that have somehow became complicated.
2016 has arrived and I ask for safety, peace and a healing of the physical. I still suffer the panic attacks and it would be wonderful to not experience those fearful moments….which always passes. Neither do I make resolutions…I don’t think I need the added stress if I should not be able to keep a preset rule to govern my days. Above all I hope for good blessings for those who pass through the days of my week. Those special students who are also learning to define themselves. I can see the older ones already more mature. May all my students enjoy good health, inspiration and above all expression on every level of their learning process.
I sincerely valued all those who passed my life …in they came and then after a time moved on. I ask them to continue moving on!!!….please don’t come back to re-establish bonds that was your choice to break. Be happy…successful as many of you are…but please leave me in my space….I see no value in re-establishing ties. You see….its not good to be an after thought. I don’t like catching up on the lives of others. In 2015 I did what I needed to do by enriching the lives of those I know. When I saw there was a need I tried to fill in the gaps. It was a commitment made to my Creator and I did it with as much grace as I could. My commitment is complete.
For my mother..Beth…..you were less of a parent and we know a truth no one can ever hope to grasp…you were a child who took care of a child. Now you are 87 and you remain my best friend, my confidant, my advisor…. The only one who will permit my volatile soul to do as it needs to. NooNoo…you are Gods little angel and although you cannot speak we learn from you from moment to moment
Yesterday when I was young
The taste of life was sweet as rain upon my tongue
I teased at life as if it were a foolish game
The way the evening breeze may tease a candle flame
The thousand dreams I dreamed, the splendid things I planned
I always built, alas, on weak and shifting sand
I lived by night and shunned the naked light of day
And only now I see how the years ran away
Yesterday when I was young
So many drinking songs were waiting to be sung
So many wayward pleasures lay in store for me
And so much pain my dazzled eyes refused to see
I ran so fast that time and youth at last ran out
I never stopped to think what life was all about
And every conversation I can now recall
Concerned itself with me, me and nothing else at all
Yesterday the moon was blue
And every crazy day brought something new to do
I used my magic age as if it were a wand
And never saw the waste and emptiness beyond
The game of love I played with arrogance and pride
And every flame I lit too quickly, quickly died
The friends I made all seemed somehow to drift away
And only I am left on stage to end the play
There are so many songs in me that won’t be sung
I feel the bitter taste of tears upon my tongue
The time has come for me to pay for yesterday when I was young
: Charles Aznavour – Yesterday When I Was Young.