My mom died on the 24th June 2017 and I can’t quite absorb the reality of it. There are so many thoughts and emotions that need expressing but I can’t write down one single one.   I can only express the terrible emptiness she has left in our lives even from the static position of being confined to the wheelchair. 
My students and their parents have been very kind during these past few days and even prior to that…and for this I will always be grateful…always.  Young women who have left my tutorship and gone on to make their own lives…these people too reminded me of their loyalty and empathy for my situation.  The prayers were many and so has the support been so.
I drift through the days in a kind of daze and try to absorb the reality of knowing she isn’t here. I can’t sleep and I can’t eat….But  I do rely on tablets to numb the ache and longing for her presence in the house.  People remind me that God only allows seventy years and a few to most of us…..I am 66years…what a prognosis and one that even if the Bible says so gives no comfort. 
I feel her close to me as I go about the procedure and endless documentation associated with these matters.  I feel as though I will scream if I once more have to go through another form and fingerprint session.

Mom, my beloved Beth, you have given me the most wonderful companionship any mother and daughter could have had. You allowed me to be who and what I wanted to be at any given moment in time and you allowed me to express freely what I felt and believed in even if it was in conflict with your precepts of a belief system, a situation, a principle.  You always forgave my irrational outbursts and temper tantrums. I know that for you there is no sojourn in Purgatory…. You had purgatory on earth bound to the wheelchair and later reclusive from the outside world and you never complained and never lashed out in hatred or torment.  You always had this accepting nature.  We are bonded for all eternity…and I will always carry the indelible mark of your influence on my soul. 

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